Its that time of year again… welcome to Adar! The first Purim shpiel to hit my facebook page this year that had me laughing out loud was courtesy of the 1st year class at Hebrew Union College, on the Jerusalem campus. I haven’t seen the Broadway musical, ‘The Book of Mormon’ yet, but you don’t have to know the show to enjoy this production.
Happy almost Purim!
Rabbi Rachel Gurevitz
Category: Purim
‘Tis the season…. for entertaining Youtube videos of Purim spoofs galore. There are a couple of gems this year and you can check them all out at our Congregation’s website on the Purim Page (just scroll down, but check out our Adults-only Beach Ball Party on March 19 at the top of the page – everyone is welcome; none of our programs are for members only).
But this morning I saw a posting on ejewishphilanthropy.com that mentioned one Youtube that I hadn’t seen yet from the Hillel of St. Petersburg, Russia. Check it out!
Here’s the translation (from the original posting on ejewishphilanthropy.com):
Hello, I’m Liya Geldman. I’m a senior student at cinema and television university in St. Petersburg. As you know Russia is a multiethnic and multidenominational country. But do Russians really know traditions of other cultures? Today we came here to find out if they know what Purim is.
– Do you know what Purim is?
– Hello, do you know what Purim is?
– Hi Julia, do you know what is Purim?
– Hello, what is Purim?
Doesn’t anyone know what Purim is?
Purim! Purim! Purim!
Purim! Purim! Purim!
Celebrating Purim!
Zenit and Haiduck (Russian soccer teams),
Student and coach,
Human and spider,
Patient and surgeon,
NYC, Moscow and Saint Petersburg!
Purim! Also celebrating in Barnaul
People from Penza and Tomsk,
On Kamchatka and in Kerch,
And possibly even on the moon.
Purim! Let’s put some make up on!
Whether you are old or young,
Even if you hadn’t slept for 3 nights
It’s Israeli mega-carnival!
Purim! We highly recommend it.
The plot is twisted,
It happened almost 3000 years ago
So it might be hard to remember
Where’s good and where’s bad
So choose for yourself who’s good and who’s bad
Here’s the Mordehai the Jew, King Ahashverosh.
Where’s Vashti? The Tzar’s ex-wife?
But maybe Hamman could be the Bad Guy?
Imagine for a while that we’re in Babylon,
Who’s the star on this dark sky? Esther!
Here’s a lesson for now and in 600BC
If you’re brave, you’ve got the power!
We’ll scream together Mazal Tov!
Our glass is full to the brim.
With what? Lets fill it with wine
And drink it all up.
And during this Purim we’ll change the world!
I hope you get the ‘feel-good’ that I felt watching Jews in Russia celebrating Purim. Oh, today we’ll merry, merry be, and nosh some hamentaschen!
Rabbi Rachel Gurevitz
The following is based on a sermon delivered at B’nai Israel on Friday, February 26th, 2010.
I’ve been pondering recently some of the many debates about the quality of education today. Such debates are widespread, whether it be regarding Jewish education in day schools or supplementary schools, or public schools in general. The consensus seems to be clear – students just seem to be more stupid than they were in the ‘good old days’. The general lack of achievement seems to be an international phenomena… I have been aware for years of the annual ritual in the UK whenever the national examination results come out and we see large numbers of high grades that appear to be quite unexpected for such a stupid student body that commentators everywhere come to the only possible conclusion: An ‘A’ just doesn’t mean what an ‘A’ used to mean. We’ve been lowering the bar to the extent that just about anyone with the ability to spell their name at the top of the page is within reach of what was once the highly sought after but difficult to pull off ‘A’ grade.
Clearly, issues of educational quality are of great concern among the Jewish community. We have always believed strongly in the importance of a good education, and there is much to be found in rabbinic literature that offers guidance on how to ensure the best possible education is available for our children. As I pondered what words of advice I might have on these issues of concern, I decided that I should first do some real research to see whether or not these concerns are actually backed up by data and hard facts, or simply commentators being nostalgic for an era of slide rules and long division, of a time when all could differentiate between an active and a passive clause. But there, right on the pages of the British Council, reporting on some of the findings from British History exams*, the evidence was laid bare. I share with you a selection of their findings, and leave you to draw your own conclusions.
Answers to exam questions written by history students
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s son?”
3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients.Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
5. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
6. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
7. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
8. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.
9. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.
13. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.
15. Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen.” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah.”
16. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
17. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo’s last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
18. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
21. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, “A horse divided against itself cannot stand.” Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
23. Abraham Lincoln became America’s greatest Precedent. His mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation.
25. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.
26. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.
29. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West.
*For the original context, see here.
P.S. Happy Purim!